Are you wondering if you ought to hold out, despite what society is telling you? Let me tell you that you not only should, but you can do it. What follows are the first seven benefits of waiting till marriage that came to mind for me.
I know you have the ability to preserve your virginity because, of all people, God allowed me to do it too. That’s right, I lost my virginity on my wedding night. To find anyone who can say that remains a more difficult task by the day. But know that it is possible, as I can testify.
I know in the title I say there are seven benefits of waiting till marriage, but really there are many, many more. Still, let me share with you some reasons you should be encouraged to hold out for your spouse.
1. POSSESS SELF-GIVING LOVE
Your virginity is the lone physical gift you can never regain once it has been freely given. Wedding rings, vehicles, houses, and every other gift you can give another can be replaced. Yet, this act of the will, namely the marital act, cannot. Thus, to give to your spouse upon your wedding night the gift of your physical intimacy means giving her a gift no one else in the world will ever receive. You have the ability to make a gift of total self to her, as you will have held nothing back from the woman who vows to spend the rest of her life by your side. How cool is that?
2. SHOW THE POWER OF HEROIC SACRIFICING
Still, the benefits of waiting till marriage can seem pale in comparison to the allurements of the world. Flirting, holding hands, and kissing are actions you see virtually every other couple doing all the time. To experience that connection with someone else remains a healthy desire in each one of us. To turn away from what you could so easily fall into takes courage. In this culture it remains heroic to sacrifice those temporary consolations in the name of something better, deeper, and long-lasting: true love. After all, the measure of love will always be sacrifice.
3. WEED OUT THE FIELD
Deep down we desire to marry someone who has our best interest at heart. Love is willing the best for the other person. Practicing chastity until marriage remains the very best option you can take. Since premarital sex can lead to depression, disease, and heartache, it is best not to cross onto that path. The trick is to find someone who shares these values, so that you will not be put in an occasion of sin. If those interested in you are into you only due to your looks or your physical strength, say, then you know they do not genuinely love you and you can narrow your list of prospective spouses. Finding someone who wants to wait, while you wait too, remains the key.
4. STRENGTHEN FIDELITY
Another of the benefits of waiting till marriage remains a stronger bond to your spouse. You will have proven, to a great degree, just how committed you are to your spouse, because you passed up other opportunities. You did not settle for an appetizer and instead held out for the main course. When times inevitably get tough in your marriage, you will have a stronger bond to be able to riding out the waves together. Whereas, those who chose premarital sex will have a tougher time emotionally bonding to their spouse and will have a disposition to move on to someone new when they are currently unsatisfied.
5. FULFILL GOD’S WILL
God’s Word has a lot to say about the virtue of purity. For instance, Hebrews 13:4 reads, “Let marriage be held in honor by all, and let the marriage bed be kept undefiled; for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.” Two of the 10 Commandments concern sexual morality. One forbids coveting another’s wife and another forbids adultery (Exodus 20:14,17) . In other words, God takes this seriously that we honor Him with our bodies and to do otherwise is to sin gravely (1 Cor 6:18-20).
Also consider that not everyone is called to marriage. Some are called to the religious life. In fact, the Bible itself says it is better not to marry (1 Cor 7:8). Therefore, if God is calling you to a religious vocation or to perpetual celibacy, then you would be doing best by not defiling yourself before embracing such a vocation.
6. BE COUNTER-CULTURAL
I know we all want to be loved, and we desire to feel accepted. That is why the vast majority of humanity conforms. We bask in the false security that the strength in numbers justifies any possible wrongdoing. Yet, a Christian is called to go against the cultural flow. We are required to oppose the world and its ideals. These days the world expects you to be sexually active from your teen years and beyond. Therefore, to be a nonconformist is to actually fulfill God’s will for you by remaining pure.
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect,” states Romans 12:1-2. Of course, it won’t be easy to stand out against the crowd. For, Jesus Christ Himself warned His followers they would be persecuted, hated, and even put to death for following His ways (Matt 10:21-23). That’s the price to be paid for discipleship to Christ. Either we permit the persecutions to come our way, or else we pay by harming our physical, emotional and spiritual health by conforming to the world’s standards.
7. HAVE NO REGRETS
When you make it to your wedding day with your purity intact, you will have much for which to be thankful to God. You will have persevered and prevailed by God’s grace. The first time you engage in the marital act will be the night of your wedding with your spouse. You will have so much to offer your spouse that no one else can offer. As a matter of fact, the Bible describes a virgin bride as capable of blessing her husband like a long lasting fountain: “A garden locked is my sister, my bride, a garden locked, a fountain sealed” (Song of Solomon 4:12). As a married person you are supposed to put your spouse’s needs ahead of your own. What better way to bless her?
Okay, what do you think of the list?
Can you think of more benefits of waiting till marriage?
Please leave your comments below.