One out of every eight internet searches is for pornography. The addiction remains an epidemic, no doubt. How will we ever defeat porn use?
Internet pornography generates three billion (with a ‘b’) dollars of revenue. One half of all Christian men and one-in-five Christian women admit they are addicted to pornography.
If you’re in that camp of porn addicts, you’re not alone. There is a way out.
If you do not struggle with this temptation yourself, likely someone you care about does.
There is no set magic bullet to get out, for most people. Multiple tactics will be necessary.
So, whether you can take advantage of doing these steps for yourself, or can recommend them to someone who confides in you their compulsion, here are five practical ways to overcome porn addiction.
1. YOU NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE—YOU CAN’T GO IT ALONE
“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak,” Jesus says (Matthew 26:41).
You very well may hate what you are doing. If so, this is a wonderful and necessary response. But it is not enough. You need help.
By making yourself accountable to someone else, who does not struggle with this sin, you will gain traction in your climb out. Yes, you will need to be vulnerable, exposing your sin to someone else, but this is necessary.
You can set up a weekly, or even a daily meeting with a trusted friend, an uncle, or counselor. You can discuss what temptations you faced and where you need help.
“Let us then cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light… and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires,” reads Romans 13:12,14.
A very wise step to take for those serious about wanting to break free from the chains of pornography is to install accountability software of every device that has internet access.
One of the best in the industry in providing this accountability is Covenant Eyes. They have affordable software that sends a report to an accountability partner.
Installing this software would be a prudent for any parent. This way you be assured that such toxic material blocked from your child’s sight.
If you don’t think your child would be seeking this out, guess again. The average age for first porn exposure is 12 years old. Plus, more than 7 out of 10 teens hide their online behavior from their parents.
Get the software, Dad. Time to protect your kids, Mom.
.jpg)
2. PRACTICE PENANCE—DON’T LET YOUR FLESH DO THE BIDDING
Christ said some demons could not be driven out but by prayer and fasting (Matthew 17:21).
“Well, I do not run aimlessly, I do not box as one beating the air; but I pommel my body and subdue it, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified,” says Saint Paul (1 Corinthians 9:26-27).
Due to our fallen human nature, being weak morally comes easy to us. A sexual addiction or a porn addiction obviously are a sin of the flesh. Thus, the flesh needs to be chastised, in order to be defeated.
If you want to defeat a vice, then you need to practice its opposite virtue.
A porn addict gets accustomed to feeding the body its desires. Thus, it’s time to allow reason to triumph over the flesh. It’s time to show your body who is boss.
Here are some practical ideas of ways to overcome your flesh—to defeat your body’s will, so to speak.
A. Practice delayed gratification.
When you get a letter in the mail you want to read, wait ten minutes before opening the envelope. Be the last one in line to get food. Wait to read that internet news article until your next break, skipping this one. Basically, learn to tell your body “not yet.”
B. Practice abstinence in food and drink.
Practice not eating meat on Fridays. If already doing that, add another day of the week. Skip dessert. When out to eat, identify what you want most, and order something else. Eat more of what you don’t like and less of what you do.
Here, you’re literally denying satisfaction to your bodily appetites. Doing this is bound to have a positive effect when the temptation to look at porn comes. You are training yourself to resist. This is absolutely vital.
I also am giving away to you FOR FREE an ebook I wrote on this very topic, titled “Cold Showers: How Catholic Men Can Pummel Porn Addiction.” All you need to do is enter your email address, so I know whom to send the ebook to today.
3. PRACTICE CUSTODY OF THE EYES—DO NOT LUST
“So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate” (Genesis 3:6).
One of the many problems with viewing porn is that is causes the addict to devalue the dignity of other people. Most commonly, men are viewing porn—although not exclusively. By doing so, he is training himself to regard and to treat women as sexual objects for his viewing pleasure.
Thus, porn addicts almost always succumb to committing lust throughout the day, not just when in front of the computer. He starts scoring every woman he sees, at the mall, at work, at church, on a scale of sexual desirability. This tosses out the woman’s dignity and worth, replacing her value with his selfish desires. It is degrading.
In place of this, the addict must train himself to start looking women in the eye, not at her chest. I recommend making a concerted effort to determine the eye color of every woman he meets. If he is busy determining if her eyes are hazel or green, then he is not thinking about the size of her bra.
The porn addict can also practice looking away at other pleasures to better train himself. Not looking into the store window. Or skipping watching the sunset.
Look, God’s creation is beautiful, especially the female body. But proper respect must be paid. By looking away from other delights to the eyes, the addict to porn will help break his impulse to lust toward women.
4. GO TO CONFESSION WEEKLY—DON’T GIVE UP
“He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy,” Scripture assures us (Proverbs 28:13).
The Sacrament of Confession has many healing effects. For starters, you receive forgiveness for transgressions. You get to hear this from the priest and can take it to heart.
As well, God supplies you grace to avoid the very sins you just confessed. Confession is medicine for the soul.
If you are addicted to porn, then the Catholic Church would say you are guilty of a grave sin. As such, you ought not receive Communion until first going to Confession.
How often should you go to the Sacrament of Confession? If you are addicted, then you need to go often, probably weekly. In fact, you can go daily, if needed. The idea is to break yourself of the bondage that sinful activity has over you. Go, receive the remedy, the grace, as often as you possibly can!
By humbling yourself before God, admitting you need Him to remove this scourge for you, He will honor that and oblige. The fact that He allowed you to have this Cross was a means to draw you to Him. He will happily remove the obstacle for you, in His time.
5. ATTEND EUCHARISTIC ADORATION WEEKLY—DO NOT TIRE IN SEEKING CHRIST’S HELP
Christ shares the parable of a widow who persisted in her petition to a certain judge. He became so annoyed with her, he finally granted her request, just to make her go away (Luke 18:1-8). He uses this as a model for us to follow in our prayer life.
We need to be persistent, consistent, and constant in prayer.
Where better to spend time in prayer than in front of Christ Himself, present sacramentally in the Eucharist? By committing to Eucharistic Adoration, for at least one hour a week, your prayer life will grow exponentially.
God will see you coming to Him personally, physically. He will hear your pleas to remove this Cross. And He will answer your prayer. In accord with His timing.
YOUR TURN
Have I forgot an obvious sixth method to overcoming porn addiction?
Has anyone deployed any or all of these methods in the past to overcome an addiction of any kind? Care to share your story?
Please ‘Share’ this post and let’s pray for those in bondage to sin.
Here is one more chance for you to get my free ebook, “Clod Showers: How Catholic Men Can Pummel Porn Addiction. Just enter your email:
