Nancyjo Mann founded the organization, Women Exploited By Abortion (WEBA) in 1982. Her aim was to help post-abortive women heal from the spiral of substance abuse or other traumas.
The vast majority of women who have had an abortion regret it later. Some of them fall into self-destructive behaviors. Often these are brought on to help them cope with the guilt of aborting their own child.
Mann recounts her story in the foreword to Dr. David Reardon’s book, Aborted Women: Silent No More. You can read it in its entirety there. She gives a gripping, autobiographical account of the nightmare she lived for several years following her abortion.
What follows are excerpts from her testimony. (All italics emphasis is original. All bold emphasis is added.)
Mann remembers the process where the saline abortion was initiated. Her doctor withdrew some of her amniotic fluid and injected her with 200 cc’s of saline solution. “From then on, it was terrible,” she recounts, “My baby began thrashing about—it was like a regular boxing match in there. She was in pain.
“The saline was burning her skin, her eyes, her throat. It was choking her, making her sick. She was in agony, trying to escape. She was scared and confused at how her wonderful little home has suddenly been turned into a death trap…
“I was never the same again. The abortion killed not only my daughter; it killed a part of me…”
After the baby died, the hospital staff induced labor and Mann delivered her dead baby.
“Soon afterwards I began to withdraw from those who loves me, especially my family since they had supported me and encouraged me to have the abortion…
“I was filled with guilt and sorrow. I felt empty, and I lived under a constant feeling of dread…
“I became preoccupied with thoughts of death…
“[A]t 22 years of age, I was forced to undergo a total hysterectomy—all because of that ‘safe and easy,’ legal abortion.
“By this time, I didn’t care if I lived or died anymore. I was going through a radical personality change and was becoming increasingly self-destructive… The people I ran with were out to destroy, steal, and maim, and that is what I wanted to do to both others and myself…
“I tried to immerse myself in destruction. I wanted to prove to myself that destroying others didn’t hurt… By doing every conceivable wrong, I hoped to strip myself of my conscience. I hoped to destroy all the values I had ever held.
“If only I could prove to myself that everything was meaningless, including the innocent daughter I had killed through abortion, then perhaps I could have the peace of total meaninglessness…
She says she smoked an ounce of pot every day and took acid every day too. Heroin and cocaine were her “refuge” for “self-obliteration,” Mann recounts.
She explains the appeal of doing the drugs. “Whenever I was stoned, I didn’t have to think. It I couldn’t think, I couldn’t feel; and if I couldn’t feel, that was almost as good as being dead. It was a lot better than facing myself.”
Nancyjo Mann also says she turned to promiscuity. “Sleeping around was a way to degrade myself, while at the same time feeding on the false comforts of a sexual embrace.”
She goes on, “Soon this turned into prostituting myself to any man who could supply me with the drugs I needed. The promise of forgetfulness was worth the price.”
Mann says she lived this “hell” for four and a half years. “During this time,” she states, “I was constantly pushing my abortion out of my mind. I never talked about it. I never dared to let myself think about it. But it was never far away.”
She says she developed a fear of the dark, since she remembers laboring all night to birth her dead baby. She says suicide also became appealing to her. She says she once nearly made an attempt on her own life.
The WEBA founder goes on to record what happened to allow her to escape such a miserable lifestyle.
She explains she was “at the bottom of the barrel. This time, I was certain that I was going to die. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain; so I prayed.”
Nancyjo Mann says she allowed God to become the Lord and Savior of her life. She says it took her three years from that point forward, but she finally was able to forgive herself for having aborted her daughter.
She would go on to form WEBA, an international organization aimed at helping women suffering from past abortion.
Some women fall into a downward spiral of substance abuse in an attempt to cope with their remorse for their abortion. Such self-destructive acts serve as penance for the sins committed against one’s own flesh and blood.
The hard lifestyle could serve as proof to one’s self that morals weren’t worth abiding by in the first place. Or it could be a means to prove one’s unworthiness to live a happy life, given the terrible deed done. In either event, healing can be found. A way out can be made.
Nancyjo Mann can testify to that.
What a powerful story, eh?
Nancyjo Mann’s abortion ushered in a spiral of substance abuse. Thanks be to God, He provided her the grace to recover.
Do you know of anyone who has suffered similarly from a prior abortion?
Please share your thoughts below!