What is marriage?
For that matter, what is the meaning of sex?
Does any of this require love? What is love, anyway?
Is all this merely about feelings?
Society would have you believe that sex is synonymous with fulfillment, with love. At the same time, conventional wisdom these days says birth control must be used to maintain a satisfactory sex life.
Married couples fall into this trap. Often they think their contraceptive sex life with their spouse is adequate. Little do they know they are setting their marriages up for failure.
Coming off last week’s two successful events: #ThePillKills Tweetstorm, and the National Protest the Pill Day of Action, I now present to you Ten Ways the Pill Kills Marriages:
1. The Pill Reduces the Need to Get Married
Obviously, the Pill and other contraceptives intend to eliminate children from entering the equation. If there are no children, then the value of marriage is minimized. These days fewer and fewer people are entering into marriage.
Why bother taking that extra step of getting married, if couples are not expected to have children? This way of thinking has prevailed for decades, resulting in a general decline in the rate of marriages in the US.
2. The Pill Creates Sexual Objects of Each Partner
Contraceptive use attempts to allow one to enjoy the pleasures of sex, without worrying about the consequences (i.e., children). Rather than give herself completely to her spouse in a unitive act, she is purposively holding something back: her fertility. Therefore, contraceptive sex is not an act of love, according to Pope John Paul II.
3. The Pill Can Cause You to Pick a Poor Mate
Did you know that couples are attracted to each other, not just by looks, but also by smell? Did you know that women naturally prefer men with a different scent than their own? Did you know this “scents” are called the major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes?
This desire for men with differing MHC genes helps women to conduct an immune system surveillance, of sorts. In other words, they subconsciously desire men who have different immune systems than their own, to better boost the immune system of any resulting offspring.
When women are on the Pill, scientists have proven their preferences change to desiring men with similar MHC genes.
Remember, the Pill mimics pregnancy within the woman’s body, so as to try to prevent an egg from being released in her ovaries. Thus, when she is on the Pill, her preferences may shift to those she deems may be closely related to her in terms of MHC genes.
If a woman later gets off the Pill, she may find she is no longer attracted to the man she had while on the Pill. This could lead to infidelity and/or a divorce.
4. The Pill Makes Sex Boring, Not Exciting
The culture would lead you to believe that you must have sex to feel loved. On top of that, you are lead to believe you can have all the pleasures of sex, without the need to worry about children, thanks to the Pill.
Therefore, you’re led to believe your sex drive will be sky high. You will be happy, and care free, having sex every night…
Then the cold, hard reality hits. That Pill you’re taking to produce all these magical, fairy tale results, actually decreases the women’s libido.
The Pill floods the female body with extra hormones, including one called sex hormone binding globulin. It bonds with and neutralizes the testosterone within the woman, causing her sex drive to plummet.
Hey, the package insert warned you.
Is it any surprise then that devout Catholics, of all people, enjoy the best sex?
5. The Pill Has Numerous Health Risks
The World Health Organization classifies the Pill as a Class One Carcinogen. It has been linked to breast cancer, multiple sclerosis, and a host of other issues, such as other cancers, strokes, heart attacks, etc.
Indeed, the marriage vows include the promise to love “in sickness and in health.” But why welcome the sicknesses, when totally unnecessary?
6. By Design, the Pill Attempts to Eliminate Children
As the Church teaches, the primary purpose of marriage is to have and raise children. Ignoring or subverting the ends of marriage will go a long way toward ensuring its demise.
Also, as it turns out, women are more likely to be happy having children than not. This makes sense, as women are literally equipped for childbearing. They have a predisposition toward being empathetic, caring, and sacrificial towards others, especially their own children. Sounds a lot like love… Who knew? (Hint: The Catholic Church, all along.)
It goes without saying, but I will say it anyway, because a growing number of people miss this, but the female body is physically prepared for childbearing. It is a natural function of the female body to have child.
7. The Pill Weakens the Ties That Bind
Remember that the Church teaches Holy Matrimony to be a sacrament. A sacrament is a sign that signifies a spiritual reality being efficaciously made manifest.
In other words, a sacrament is a physical reality of what is being done spiritually. In the case of Holy Matrimony, the husband and wife are united in an indissolvable union. The sign of this covenant is their consummation. The conjugal act is a sign of the spiritual reality of their vow before God and man to be unified.
By purposively holding back their fertility from each another, the couple breaks their promise of being fully united in marriage. Again, this is a promise they made before God.
No sacramental grace comes from contraceptive sex. It defies God’s laws and the natural order.
8. The Pill Welcomes Spiritual Unrest
The Catholic Church teaches practicing contraception to be grave matter. If a Catholic knows this, and still practices contraception freely, then he or she is guilty of a mortal sin.
Why does the Church take such a hard stance? Does the Church not know this prohibition serves as its most unpopular teaching?
For answers, please read my prior blog post “What’s the Big Deal About Catholics Using Contraception?”.
9. The Pill Leaves Open a Door to Infidelity
Reasons #1, #3, #4 contribute to this as well.
What makes sex between a husband and wife different from sex between any others? Only the married couple has made a vow to exclusivity and to permanence.
By using the Pill, couples are saying they can separate sex from its procreative powers. If sex and procreation are separated, then the exclusivity of one’s sexual activity becomes less necessary. Rather than working together to raise the kids, the appeal of pleasureful sex elsewhere may crop up.
Is it any wonder infidelity is more common than ever?
10. Using the Pill and Getting a Divorce Go Hand in Hand
That vow of permanence becomes harder to hold, when children are not present to serve as the glue to hold the couple together. If sex is merely for pleasure and not for children, then what happens if the pleasure from sex does not outweigh the strife of married life?
Add up all these factors, and many more that could be listed, and you can understand how much more difficult it is for contraceptive couples’ marriages to last.
Should it be any surprise that divorce rates skyrocketed over 300% within three decades of the Pill being introduced?
I would like to hear your take on this list.
Do you have a #11 to add to the list?
Are any of these seem too far-fetched?
I invite you to sound off in the comments!